Bethel it is, God.

The idea to go to Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry (BSSM) was first planted in my head when I was 16 years old when my brother told me of all the incredible things happening at Bethel church in California. He told me how people with terminal illnesses come from all around the world to be healed. At this church they raise up, train, and send out people to truly be the hands and feet of Christ, and encourage them to be who God intended the body of Christ to be. They believe in a God who has no bounds and who is more than religion. The God who has the power to create the world and know each one of us at the most intimate level. Hearing about the culture this church operates in and how free they are, I was beyond intrigued and inspired. It wasn’t long until I heard about their school, BSSM, and even though I was inspired by the idea of it all my decision about where I was going after high school was already made and it was going to take a huge impact from the Lord to change it.

From the age of 15 I was so concerned about where my future headed and I had an overwhelming fear of where I would go and what I would do after high school. It was hardly ever out of my mind. The burden weighed so heavy on my heart, but as so many of us do with our burdens, I learned to live with it. I never truly realized how much it affected my life until the day it left. Because of this fear I began frantically searching for where I was supposed to go after I graduated and I thought the answer was Australia. But even still after my decision was made the fear never ended; I was carrying a burden for my future. My heart was set on Australia for the entire year of 11th grade. But whether I liked it or not, God had other plans for me.

After that year any peace that was there to cover up the burden I carried was gone. I had no desire to do anything or go any where as nothing seemed God given any longer. Bethel was always in the back of my mind, but I never gave it a chance to be a thought of significance. I knew if God wanted me there, He'd tell me. But He wasn't telling me, so I let it go.

With that, new season of my prayer journey began, filled with questions that my heart desired so badly to be answered. I longed for the peace He has promised and the release from the heaviness which rested on my heart. I longed for freedom so strongly, but I was so consumed with not wanting to wait on God to find any peace. One weekend, on the way to a conference at a local church, I was talking with a dear friend about everything -- telling her my struggles, my desires, and what I was asking God for. She gave me the advice to tell God how I wanted to be told and to wait for it to happen. So that's what I did. I told God that I wanted Him to make it evident to me; that in the midst of His presence He would guide my heart and tell me where to go. 

That evening God took me on an amazing Holy Spirit ride. I tasted for the first time what it meant for Christ to really rock my world. He was preparing my spirit the hour or two before the conference began I could tell He was preparing my spirit. My palms were sweaty, my heart was beating, and I was telling Him over and over that I wanted anything and everything He had to offer. I wanted nothing to be held back. A few hours later, as the speaker laid hands on me and prayed over me, I found myself on the ground completely consumed by the Holy Spirit. In that moment, in total surrender and peace, I knew I would be going to Bethel. I felt a release of the burden I carried for so long as God began the process of healing for the damaged part of my heart. Nothing can explain what happened except the serenity Christ brings in the sweetness of His presence. I wanted supernatural assurance and I’m talking about the kind of assurance that goes beyond all doubts, fears, anxieties, and lies. And that's what I received. 

He called, and I'm  following. 

Since then God has taught me so much that my mind cannot hold it all. But I can always remember one thing. With all the pain, the hard times, and the suffering I have been asked to walk throughout the course of my life, I would never trade one moment of it away. It has been the times where I’ve waited to the point I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest in anticipation, and the pain of it all seemed almost unbearable, have been the times God has grown me the most. I am a person I’m proud to be. My life is in the hands of my true love, and there’s no place I’d rather it be. Wherever I end, whatever I do, let it all be done with the end goal in mind; to love God with everything.

So I wait expectantly for all the things He has for me to be fulfilled. I wait for the dreams He has given me to come into reality. As I sit and think of what it is I want to do with the rest of my days, a few answers come to mind; I want to sing for Him throughout my years, and pursue my passion for worship. I want to live in many nations and meet the purest hearted people this world has to offer in the humblest of countries. I want to see the bonds of religion be broken in this nation. The moments may come where the passion feels all but gone and I forget who I am in Christ, but even in those times when my emotions and my decisions may not match, I will continue to choose to love God. For today and what I foresee as the rest of my life, He is wooing me and taking me on an incredible journey and in that is an inspiring love story between the two of us. As I realized recently while I sat and awed over the beauty of my Creator and Daddy; if all I ever get to do with the rest of my days is completely and totally in love with God the way I am now, that is a life well lived. When hard times come and my life is shaken, I’ll stand upon the truth of who God is.

God has called me to Bethel and I want to open up an opportunity to anyone who so desires to sow a seed in me. I have a site on gofundme.com, which all the proceeds will go to my Bethel account. The link is http://www.gofundme.com/3nhtjs

Blessings to all who took the time to read this!